I wonder

I wonder if you are angry.
I wonder if you are hurt.
Are you upset that I am still one?
Are you lamenting on things not happened?
I wonder if these are your feelings or just mine.
I wonder if this thing we call time is still here, for me, for you.
I am laughing with you and it makes me sparkle inside.
I see you look at me with pride and I know you and I are ok.
Yet then I catch you grabbing a glimpse and a smile at the small child.
I wonder if you desire her or him to be your legacy, deep down, I wonder.
Are you sad?
Are you cross or just resigned?
Perhaps you are just you and I am just me and together we are here.
I wonder if that is enough and if I shall cry this eve as I did last night.
I cry for things not lost but things not yet to be.
It will have to be enough I fear. I fear it will be all.
I enter that fear meaning to tackle it, to eliminate it.
I wonder when the release will come, when I will stop the wonder.
I wonder.