cycle

i am being tested. i am in an envelope being pushed to the top and someone is attempting to lick the seal and send it off. elements are conspiring, filtering all around me to see what i will do. this is hard. they say...and yet still have no idea who this "they" is...they do say that one will be sent only what one can handle...so i have faith that all of this being shoved to me, onto me is good and that i will pass the test with flying colors. It is hard though i have to say. Yet I look at my predessers and they got through the test. i made a decision a few days ago to actually leave where i am now. it feels right. and then something happened this week that for me stands in that decision's corner. i am out and a new one is in it seems. the natural order of things i suppose. someone dies, someone is born. so it continues; the cycle of life. I saw a billboard the other day at a local biz that said, (I love this time of year because this place posts the best sayings and i look forward to them!) "It is easy to be brave from a distance" Interesting, yes? At first I thought well ok maybe i should stay, tuff it out, be brave...then i realized but wait i don't want to be brave, not now not about this, i just want to get over this one. distance then makes sense. i can be brave later and i promise i shall be.