Friday, July 31, 2009

Femme Fest is here kids!


Come on down to the Cave this weekend for Femme Fest!
Femme Fest is two days of entertainment at the Cave (Chapel Hill's oldest music venue) and Mansion 462 (Chapel Hill's newest music venue) showcasing women in music. A donation will go to the Girls Rock Camp of NC and the Rape Crisis center of Chapel Hill. This year's Femme Fest is hosted by comedienne Michelle Maclay.

Friday, July 10, 2009

more shows....see me, love me!


July 15th, The Blank Slate Comedy Show - July edition
The Fuse in Chapel Hill
http://www.f-use.com/

July 17th, Ultimate Comic Challenge
The Idiot Box, Greensboro
http://www.theultimatecomic.com/

then another on July 18th, keep scrolling...you need the exercise!

check out this show! please


music and laughter, yez!!!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Check it out! Free SHIT!














Sure you cannot technically take it home with you, but when you wake up in the morning on Thursday with a smile on your face, you will know all is ok...at least till you get to work.
come see da show!
this is our flier for the Fuse show and this is me dancing last weekend at the fuse. All coming together...

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

returning to the cave tonight!




come with me! The Cave Comedy open mic is this eve, 7:30pm.
http://www.caverntavern.com/

Friday, May 29, 2009

sad yet ok!



that phrase will be on my next t-shirt. My pal Mary Beth and I are planning a t-shirt party, very soon!

A "sad yet ok!" t - shirt will definitely be a product out of that party!

That is exactly what I said and truly felt after I heard, officially, that I had not made it to the final round of the DSI Carolina's Funniest Comic contest last weekend.
I was so ok yet a tad sad, but that is normal I think. In fact I was so ok that as the third person, aka friend, was in the middle of telling me how wonderful I was and that it was all going to be ok, I said, "Yep. I know. In fact upset is over there across the bar and I am way over there outside. That is how far I am from upset" I have good friends, honest ones most importantly.

I was a tad sad only because I essentially lost, and all of us, no matter what we say, want to win or at least we don't actively seek to lose. I was ok because I had a strong solid set that I was very proud of and I made a large number of people (not just my friends in attendance) laugh. Amazing feeling and why we do what we do up in here in da comedy world. And even better I honed one joke I just wrote and had been working on for a week prior...and it killed. That alone is worth all of it, for reals! Anyone out there that writes this crap, ah magic, and performs it knows what I is talking about.

Here it be,
"I have come to feel that the decision to have a kid or not to have a kid is a big, or can be, a big dilemma for women these days. Do I have a kid, do I not have a kid? Just last week I had this overpowering feeling that yes I do want to have kids. But then I realized I was just hungry. Uh, dilemma solved...for this woman."

I will tell you a real dilemma I do have - the spelling of that word. I was originally taught to spell it, "dilemna" but if you google it or do spell check it is spelled, "dilemma" Perhaps from here on out I should just call it a quandary. Hey look at that...quandary solved.

Thanks DSI Carolina's Funniest Comic contest for being in existance so that I could a)make some people laugh and b) for providing a positive performing environment in which to better my material ultimately then making me a better, stronger comedian.

"Sad yet ok!" Me likie.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

First round DSI Carolina's Funniest Comedian

In second round this Friday.
I plan to kill, or be killed. Will step it up from this one.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

I ate today, so therefore I am...

A banana
Many grapes
A little dish of tuna fish salad
half a small bag of fritos (I threw away the rest...wasteful yet better in the trash can than in, ah on my tummy)
10 sesame low fat crackers or it was a piece of paper, not sure
1 medium cup of coffee with a whisper of half and half

and for dinner? salad...one ice cream cone, no booze, seltzer water, and The Office

Is it Friday yet?

Friday, May 08, 2009

May 23rd, On da shore I will be!




Join the Fun at The Bear & Cub in Pungoteague
A night of comedy & coffee with Michelle Maclay

“365 days older, a few pounds heavier, and more tears shed”
I’m Back!

Saturday, May 23rd

Door Opens 6:30 PM - Show starts at 7:00 PM

Admission: $15 (includes small treat to eat)

Additional refreshments available for purchase.


30241 Bobtown Road, Pungoteague, Virginia

Call 757-442-7222 anytime & leave a message

Or email bearcubscoop@verizon.net

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

next is good!



"No, really, seriously, man, dude, I made it past the first round in DSI's Carolina's Funniest Comic Contest this last Friday!"

I am now onto round 2 that takes place Friday, May 22nd, 7:30pm.
Me and 7 other mooks muking it up for your votes.
It is personal now!

And I love that Zach, the owner, decided to call it Carolina's Funniest Comic contest. Someone asked me last week how the name came about and how did the contest end up at DSI? As if someone, some group had decided...I said, "Ah I think that is what it is called." nice. Step up. I am a comedian pretty much cause I call myself that, introduce myself to people that way. You gots to think what you are and that is what you will be, are.

Not like that weird stuff, Splenda. "It starts with sugar. It tastes like sugar. But it's not sugar." Ah....then what the hell is it?

I met a guy the other night in a bar. Asshole. He started out as an asshole. He acted like an asshole all night. He is an asshole.

Just saying, in a nice way....

See ya'll Friday, May 22nd, 7:30pm, DSI Theatre, on the loading dock behind Harris Teeter
http://www.dsicomedytheater.com/news/article/180/funniest-comic-round-1/
Vote it up!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Funny Contest


come check me out and 15 other very funny kids contest it up!
Friday, May 1st, 7:30pm
DSI Comedy Theatre

See you there,
Me

http://www.dsicomedytheater.com/shows/details/carolinas-funniest/

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

I know I know


I have been lame. here and across most of my life over the last few weeks, ah maybe a month. But...if you come to The Blank Slate Comedy show April edition this Wednesday then I promise to write, write!
Wednesday, tomorrow, 8pm
The Fuse on Rosemary Street in Chapel Hill.
FREE.
A host, comics, and drinks. A good trifecta!
See you there

Friday, February 27, 2009

voted the best short joke

3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath. 'Mom', he asked,
'Are these my brains?'
'Not yet,' she replied

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

ok come on....



is he the cutest pop a gal could ask for? the appropriate answer is YES!
Happy Wednesday. I know I have been slack in the posting lately...been sick, working, and tired. I am back on it starting next week, March 1st...along with getting my jiggly butt off the couch and out on the road a running.

Monday, February 16, 2009

The Blank Slate Comedy show this week!


Come to the Fuse and see a great comedy show!
Wednesday, February 18th, 8pm
A fantastic host, five very talented slightly insane comedians, and a Carolina Basketball game humming in the background.

FREE.

Come on!

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Feb 09 in North Carolina



Operation Get my shit together...develop better habits...save money...not sure what to call this "plan yet"
So far so good...meaning "so good" as in sub par and all such references.
The plan for this morning?
Get up at 6:30am (normally I get my 40 something ass out of bed at 7:15amISH)
Crank up some coffee.
Turn on laptop.
Write for 20 minutes.
Shower. Dress. drive. bus ride. work. be productive.

So far the plan?
Woke up at 6am, alarm did it.
Hit snooze till 7:16am.
Turned on laptop. Listened to NPR news.
No TV, no Today Show - that in itself is good - I mean really what is the purpose of that show but to make people that are NOT Ann, Al, Matt, and Meredith feel awful about themselves? That is rhetorical people...I know, stay positive, after all Feb is only 28 days. Hey wait a minute is that the average length of days, of stay for rehab? interesting...
Laid in bed and THOUGHT about writing for 20 minutes...
No coffee.
Showered. Got dressed.
First outfit placed on body went with - another unusual feat.
Started car. Defrosted windows (ice is sticky people...open the door damn it!)
Got to bus stop for 8am bus.
Coffee at fav coffee shop, chatted and laughed with friend that gave me free cup.
At desk just before 8:30am...whew!
Working. Actually being focused...well...ah...ok sort of.
It is the little things people. Baby steps. Wahhhhhh....

Tomorrow awaits me. Perhaps, up at 7am, coffee, turn on laptop, open up new word doc. then Thursday. all in a plan, all in a day.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009


It is snowing, snowing, and snowing at my house this morning.
I made an attempt to get out of my driveway to go to work earlier today.
3 inches is what I was able to accomplish.
Back out of the car, into the house, covered in white dust.
And still now, 3 hours later, still snowing. it is so beautiful.
so clear, crisp and clean. A day to stay inside, in long johns, fire a going
and the inauguration activities streaming on my television at low volume in the background. perfect Monday, finally. I guess it is a perfect Monday due to the fact that it is Tuesday.
Work will now be hectic tomorrow and for the rest of the week since I am not there today. It is worth it.
I did cry this morning as I was watching a story about Obama and his path to where he is now. The first time I have done so through it all. It came out of nowhere and did not last long, just a few tears. No words to describe the feeling, none that would do justice I think. So I shall continue to be here inside warm, sipping coffee, writing, and feeling so healthy and hopeful. Ah crap, how am I suppose to write funny stuff now?

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Always learning, growing, living

a friend o mine recently told me that he is a vegetarian. not a strict one though. as he is more concerned with eating healthy and if meat happens to play into that then that is just fine. Some meats are leaner, healthier than others. I know I know that is not the meaning of the word...I did say to him, as he used the word multiple times, "you know, you keep using that word, vegetarian, and I do not think it means what you think it means" - Princess Bride.
So anyway, he has decided then that he can eat, will eat, only meat that has wings. So turkey, chicken and of course angels. So you can imagine my surprise when a few days after he shared this information with me, he said to me as we said goodbye after hanging out one evening at da bar, "See you later and you know I have to tell you, you really are an angel"
Happy Whatever You Believe In babies!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

I have no idea why but it fits, and i like it

Every day I get an email from this dude, George Mateljan, well it is from his foundation to be 100% truthful. it is whfoods.org and they claim to have the world's healthiest foods...or promote them, that way of eating, anyway.
Each day he sends me an email with a daily recipe and food tip.
I don't often make the recipes...correction, ah I have never used any of the recipes in the emails. But I do open up each one, read through it as well as the tip for the day. For some reason it comforts me. That even though I don't actually cook the recipes, I know they exist, that they are out there. I am trying to be healthier and some how this is a step in that process. I am becoming healthy through osmosis. I have no idea why but it all seems to fit.

My mom called me this morning around 8am. When I saw the call come in and knew it was her I was ready. When I answered I said, "Don't sing!" She did not sing, she laughed and laughed and I then laughed and laughed. It was somewhere in the area of a 2 to 3 minute laugh fest! it was the best. a perfect present for today.
I've included the recipe and food tip below for your enjoyment, in whatever form that works best for you.

And in the true spirit of my bornday and the holidays now upon us, and as I heard a kid exclaim in the early morning Christmas Parade I witnessed this last Saturday (more on that surreal experience later...much more indeed),
here's wishing you all a very,
"Happy Whatever you Believe in!" this season.

Today's Recipe
If you don't know what to have for dinner tonight ...
If you want to enjoy great flavor along with an excellent source of vitamins, K, A, D, tryptophan, selenium and protein then try this easy-to-prepare recipe that creates a delicious broth, which you will want to savor to the very last drop.
Poached Halibut with Fennel & Cauliflower

Ingredients:
1½ lbs halibut cut into 8 pieces
1 TBS fresh lemon juice
1TBS + 1 cup chicken or vegetable broth
1 medium sized onion cut in half and sliced medium thick
1 large carrot, turned about 1½ inch pieces
1½ cups cauliflower florets cut into quarters
1 medium sized fennel bulb sliced medium thick
5 medium cloves garlic pressed
salt and black pepper to taste
chopped fennel green tops for garnish

Directions:
Slice onion and chop garlic and let sit for at least 5 minutes to bring out their hidden health-promoting properties.
Rub halibut with lemon juice and season with a little salt and pepper. Set aside.
Heat 1 TBS broth in a 12 inch stainless steel skillet. Healthy Saute onion in broth over medium heat for 5 minutes stirring frequently.
Add rest of broth and carrots. Simmer on medium heat for about 10 minutes covered.
Add cauliflower, fennel, and garlic. Place halibut steaks on top and continue to cook covered for about 6 more minutes. Season with salt and pepper
Serve halibut with vegetables and broth. Sprinkle with chopped fennel greens.
Serves 4

Is one type of sweetener better than the other for my body and the way my body processes them?

Your question can be answered in a variety of different ways. First, in terms of overall nutritional quality, it's always better to get your "sweeteners" as part of whole, natural foods rather than separately purchased products that you add to your food.
I realize that many people simply have a "sweet tooth" and are accustomed to sweetening a good number of foods and beverages. However, the routine use of added sweeteners can sometimes detract from the naturally sweet flavors of foods.
Carrots, for example, are a naturally sweet vegetable. They're about 15% sugar in terms of total calories; they contain an array of sugars including sucrose, glucose, and fructose. However, to many people carrots do not taste sweet, and the reason sometimes involves the total amount of sugar to which a person has become accustomed. A large carrot will contain about three-quarters of a teaspoon of sugar at most. If you're accustomed to one to two teaspoons of any added sugar in your coffee or tea, or as an added glaze on an entrée, your carrot may no longer be as enjoyable to you because it may seem non-sweet by comparison.
Second, in the same way that I prefer natural foods as a source of all dietary sugars (please see the carrot example above), I also prefer natural sources of extracted sugar products. For example, agave nectar is a sweetener extracted from the agave plant, and it contains a variety of nutrients that are naturally found in the agave plant. While these nutrients are found in relatively small amounts in agave nectar, this sweetener is still a better nutritional choice because of this natural diversity. Agave nectar is about 70% fructose in terms of its sugar composition. However, this abundance of fructose is not the reason I favor its use as a sweetener for individuals who have decided to use added sweeteners. The reason I favor its use is because agave nectar is more natural and less processed than many other available sweeteners. Table sugar, for example, provides no nutritional variety whatsoever, even though it originates in a natural plant (sugar cane).
Your best choice of sweeteners always involves those sweeteners that are most natural and least processed. This is the reason I like whole, natural foods as the source for sweetness in a Healthiest Way of Eating. However, for individuals wanting added sweeteners, my top choices would be honey and natural nectars, including agave nectar. I strongly recommend the purchase of organic honey, since bees can inadvertently pick up pesticide residues and other potential contaminants while gathering pollens in any pesticide-containing environment. Organic agave nectar would also be my recommended choice for this sweetener. Other sweeteners that I also like are organic maple syrup and organic blackstrap molasses. If you need to use a product that acts like regular sugar, then I would suggest organic evaporated cane juice, since it is less processed than refined sugar and contains more nutrients.
When it comes to dietary sugars, the key to supporting your body's metabolism is moderation. Any dietary sugar can disrupt your body's metabolism if eaten excessively. I don't believe that the research supports intake of any added sugar in large amounts, regardless of its "naturalness" or degree of processing. I also don't believe it makes sense to focus on the exact composition of sugars within a natural food or within a natural, minimally processed sweetener. Different foods have different sugar composition, and I believe that these differences are healthy provided that the foods are organically grown and are consumed as close to their whole, natural condition as possible.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Quote of the week....I had to

"I saw them. There were four of them and I thought there are four of us, that is if we find the lady. Oh, Hello Lady!" - Fezzik, aka Andre The Giant, Princess Bride

Yes it's hot NOW, but in the fall it will be cool and you will need me more than ever!

Yes it's hot NOW, but in the fall it will be cool and you will need me more than ever!
I am back at ESO to do some comedy; all me, all alone, well there will be beer and wine! October 18th, 7:30pm...stay tuned!

for now!

Till this chica gets settled in the blog name stays the same...deal with it! still posting but now OFF SHORE! I am working on my website so look for that soon...