a good morning

i woke this morning around 6am to wind and darkness. i stayed in bed, awake, seeing in the dark for a while...listening to the trees talk to me and a bell toll in the distance as it blew over the bank back and forth calling some far off boat, some distant soul maybe. the alarm rang out and i touched the snooze lightly, as if from my mind. not yet i spoke out loud. just let me stay here in this time, this reflection for a moment, many more. a head full of thoughts. of the tax overdue notice received yesterday, of an impeding bornday, of life choices filled with regret, feelings of panic for the future...and yet deep down in my heart a spark of something else, a piece of knowledge so different. something linked, even submerged in harmony. in the country, outside of a small town it is so quiet, so calm that one can often hear a loudness. and then as one wonders at the noise of the quiet, it all goes completely silent. for the first time one can truly hear it, life, themselves...it. i lay there for a while longer and listened to this quietness, to me, to it. a smile slipped across my face even as i threw negative thoughts at it to stop. still it came and now even it still sits. it will not be denied. even when i SHOULD be blue, be down, be afraid i am not. i am more powerful today than ever. the trees remind me so and the bell shouts out to me all is possible. a new beginning came to me this morning in the dark. it traveled across the mountains, through the trees, and over the creek to get to me. i owe it a chance after all of that travel. and so i offer that as i have nothing else to give.