Four Seasons all in one day.

Tuesday, September 11th, 2007

I am here on the eastern shore of Virginia, not in NYC.

Second year away from the city, one of the cities least we forget, where that day happened. It is odd to not be there on this day. Not bad, not good, only just not there delivered in the form of numbness. My most vivid memory of that day is truly the walking home. So many people and more doubts. I signed up right way, on the way home, to give blood - and I hate (more than most, really!) to give blood. I am the true human turnup! It is hard to write about that day and it is even more difficult not to write about it. Tons of words come to my mind and yet from the head to the hand to the paper...nothing. Rather nothing of any worth or beauty. Most of the people I spent that day with, thought of on that day are no longer in NYC either. For some reason that is what brings the salty solution to my eyes today. Again no explanation only just there. I am distant now from the town, that booming city where once I was so close, inside it, a part of a bigger animal. Afterwards people called me - many actually which was nice and sort of not - and all said consistently the same sort of thing to me..."wow I cannot even imagine how it felt to be there, in it, and I am so glad I was not there, so scary" Really? Scary? Sure. Wish I was not there? Absolutely NOT and without hesitation that is my answer. I got nothing for you in the arena of why only that that is my first initial reaction, answer. Not glad, but clear. I am calm, sad, resolved, thankful today. Four seasons all in one day. Appropriate I suppose as we head now into fall.