"You look tired"

why do people say that to you? I mean I am so it is good that my face matches my insides but alas why do you have to announce it? Yes, I got three hours of sleep last night. Therefore, ergo, I am tired. And apparently some pretty sweet baggage am I a carrying under my eyes. I don't like it when people say, "Wow! You look so pretty today!" As if it is a feat, I was mugged by The Extreme Makeover crew the night before on my way home...and the last two days previous apparently I've looked like shit. Actually, who am i kidding? I love it when people say that to me.
I love it when guys in bars, especially when I am bartending, ask, "how old are you?" and as a side bar a question for them, for all, when the fuck did this become an acceptable question to ask a lady. (tee hee. I referred to myself as a lady!) I guess I can now approach men and ask, "how's it hanging there big fella?" [A pause], response of "It is good" Me - "Ah, no really how is IT hanging?" I need the info if we are to proceed any further. I am feeling dirty today. Oh good...nice mood to be in when in a few hours set to take the stage and do some funny shit in front of paying customers.
A dude asked me that very question last night. So, I then asked back, "how old do you think I am?" To which he replied, after a few minutes of close observation, "27, 28"
[Fighting off laughter], "Oh honey, are you drunk? It is pretty dark in here!" He said no. That was nice. I mean I am sure the objective was not to exchange beauty tips but more to exchange something else...who knows. nice guy. not dating material, but a nice guy. I was flatterd actually. And it made me remember what I already know and believe: it is just a number. none of it means anything. Except of course when it comes to breaking the law. There are some pretty cute 16 year olds running around town...no, I mean 18 year olds, wait...ok never mind. And since I act way below what my age is SUPPOSE to act like (whatever that may be), and along with my good jeans I was blessed with (my mom's name is Jean -that is eery!), I know that makes me come across to people as younger with a certian air of wisdom, and I like that. I just read that 50 is the new 30. Therefore, maybe what people are really saying to me, instead of "You look tired", is "You look 50" and it means I look great! Or instead of the question, "How old are you?" they are really asking, "When do you turn 30, for the 20th time?" If you don't get my drift I have to assume that you have not yet "hung" around quite long enough.