so right i am numb.

This is me, my brother, his bowtie and my big mouth out on the town...well he is bartending and i am drinking, on the town.
moving to NC, here, to Chapel Hill, has been so amazing. It has been a long long time since I have made a decision that was so right, so on, and felt so good and healthy. A move that truly started with deciding to move to Virginia, to rest and take a sabatical on the eastern shore, living with my parents. I am awfully grateful. Thanks to all the little people and things for making it happen...those would be,
Angus the big headed red dog, the lovely older couple in Virginia, New York City, credit card companies, ESO Theatre, Amy Ingram, Tasha Space, Heather Goff, the godfather and his lovely baby bird Katherine, beer, pork rinds, coffee, creative property development, Lara Wollman, Nicolle Smith, Kellys Gingernut Pub, First Wednesday Open mic show, tope colored Maxima car, All of Cape Charles, Cape Charles Coffee House, Sierra Nevada (the beer not the location), Nathaniel John, Dave and Duff, Dead Mule Club, The steph aka dirty whore, The Comedy Social, Sophia, Ann C, DSI Theatre, 806 Old Mill Road, Coastal Roast on the shore, the stuffed monkey Earl that lives in my car, The Bear and Cub coffee shop, Tempsations, Bucher, Starbucks, Theron Steiner, Weehawken, Greenwich Village, Judge Craters, Kevin, candles, hope, Dr. Daddy, ECU, french fries, Frasier, Samuel, good genes...and the trait that no matter what is happening, if I am not happy (in a relationship, a location, a job...) i do change. Strive to be happy. I can own that if nothing else. And I DO mean nothing else. Nice. Very nice. I am sure i missed something or someone - you know who you are!

i am such a slacker

No quotes, no words for some time now. A quick update:
Heading to NYC this Thursday for a wedding in the Brooklyn.
Set at the Cave on last Friday? Outstanding! I hit one out of the park, truly. It felt fantastic. The crowd was on, I was on, the beer was flowing and so was my wit. I don't remember most of it but that I had a blast and we were all laughing. And to think I almost didnt go? I felt poopy pantish but bucked up and went, made a committment sort of dealo! So glad I did.
Moving to my new sweet pad next week. My landlords are fantastic...a second set of parents it is lookin like...but I will have a garden to call my own - all that know me commence shuddering! I will try. I will try. With the way things are going it will be handy to know how to grow my own food.
Thinking about getting a kitty but nowhere near "on the fence" about it. More looking at the fence, on the side of not getting a kitty, and checking the fence out.
Looks like I will be producing again. A variety comedy show in Apex North Carolina. Very excited about it. A over 100 seating theatre, true blue stage and sound system, for reals dressing rooms, and getting paid. That is right! Nice. Stay tuned...
Ah what else? Dabbling in the boy area. Getting my toes wet. Working just fine, just fine, for now.
Day job a rockin still. Septemeber will have health insurance. Can go check out that slight pain in my foot...wait what? there is no pain in my foot, ssshhhh!
Gas prices is going down a tad. My broken toe is finally completely healed.
Kelsey Grammer was hospitalized after feeling faint, just a precaution.
Salmonella now limited to Mexican peppers. University of Florida just rated #1 party school in US. Spencer Taylor of Michigan was arrested while wearing full Joker regalia after he attempted to steal movie posters and memorabillia at a showing of Batman. Really? Low blow dude. And last but not least Oprah does it again! She has divorced kids talking about their pain...
have a day.

It was great!

Quote for Wednesday, July 23rd
“The greatest stories are those that resonate our beginnings and intuit our endings, our mysterious origins and our numinous destinies, and dissolve them both into one.” - Ben Okri

The Monti was fantastic last night...in spite of me being in it. Wow. I had a great time and my story did pretty well. I got a little teary eyed in the middle of it, forgot a section of it, and then went a tad over my time...but so did all the story tellers. You have to check out this show! it is a gem, a rising star my friends. If you are not on the train now...

i had two glasses of vino to celebrate. but sunday and monday nights? no booze. so hey it seems as if i am actully ahead of the game. nice. bartending this eve and doing a stand up set on Friday. So you know what that means?...me liver does. It says, "yipppeee, no booze for 48! Nice, very nice." Ah your liver talking to you? time to go. I am out.

A clarification

Quote for Friday, July 18th
“When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?” - George Carlin

just a quick clarification....when i say "Hooch" i mean as in Hooch: a colloquial nickname for an illegally distilled corn or grain-based alcoholic beverage, also known as moonshine, PGA (pure grain alcohol), or creek water. It is a general reference to booze. I got tired of using that word over and over. I have not given up drinking creek water since I don't actually drink creek water. I have to say though that if I was in fact drinking creek water I would be completely fine giving it up, for more than two weeks even. Although if you are one that does dabble in the drinking of creek water I suppose the idea of quitting it would not enter your realm. Just a guess.
I did not want to confuse people into thinking I meant any other sort of Hooch than the alcohol kind.
As in...
Turner and Hooch (not booze but a good movie none the less - ah come on you know you watched AND liked it! "what exactly does that do for you?" Turner to Hooch)Hooch's name is actually Beasley.

Or as in the Hooch: a single pont foundation, pre-fabricated tensile structure
OR as in a Hooch: a minor character from Scrubs television show.
Or lastly as in a Pieter de Hooch: a painter during the Dutch Golden Age

Day Four operation no hooch

Quote for Thursday, July 17th
"That would be a good thing for them to carve on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment” - Dorothy Parker

wow oh wow i slept great last night! Only 6 hours, which actually is a lot for me. It was that sort of sleep where you sleep so solidly, so like in a dream state - not dreaming - and you wake up, sort of, once and think oh no is it really 4:40am? You look and it is something like 1:45am...YES! So excellent. this no hooch dealo is really working well so far. my body feels so rested! by the way, you all know that when this one says, "NO, none, zip zilch" she means "one per day"? Hey me and the cold turkey have never been friends. Wait, don't smirk or call me a player...yet...Because i set in motion the idea in my head, in my routine NO booze for these two weeks I have been very conscious of it all and only HAD one drink a day. And that is the truth! I had a glass of wine Monday night (mostly to clear it out so not to be tempted! - ah...logic may not be my friend either), one beer Tuesday night, half a beer last night (it was skunky smelling so I tossed half of it out), and this eve I will have one drink...my brother's new bar is opening so I have to celebrate with him. Technically not his bar as in ownership, name on legal documents, large amount of money invested into...but his sweat and many tears definitely into it and that often counts more, in my book!
Then it is operation "michelle and her The Monti Story" for the weekend. Eat, breath, drink and sleep my story I am telling on Tuesday, July 22nd at The Monti in Chapel Hill.

day one of operation no hooch for 2 weeks in full swing

I feel sort of outside of myself today. as if i am walking a few steps behind me. nice butt. no not really. but more just in and out of it. Tuesdays have an odd affect on me. or it could just simply be the onion rings i had for lunch...and then some pepper and sea salt potato chips. my body is screaming for veggies! keep on toots. off to work on my story for The Monti - Tuesday, July 22nd. Be there! Me, microphone, telling a story of my childhood...what could be better? Don't answer that. Simply say, "goodnight Gracie" and close out the window.

my liver, my weight, my wallet

That is the theme for the next two weeks kids.
My liver, my weight, my wallet.
I have a lot coming my way for the next two weeks (all good)and i need to focus, work my butt off and make it all happen, and happen well!

so for the next two weeks (from now till week of July 28th) no booze. I am doing this cause i think i have a problem. I am confident in stating that I don't have a classic alcoholic problem - and i would never make light of such a disease, ever. alas, when it comes to booze, really just beer - been a while since i have done shots, etc on a regular basis...it does cause me problems. Oh there are many days I don't drink, i never get up in the morning and drink, and when i drink it is always about happiness or celebration, to relax after work, but i honestly feel not as an escape or due to pressure. But, when I do, the aftermath, the hangover, the next day, causes me to not be productive, get things done and just overall it zaps me. it is the mixture of getting older (not old by any means) and beer that does this to me. my recovery time becomes longer and longer as i add years onto my life. the aftermath of it is my problem.
I just feel that at this time out of my day job, the bar job and writing, performing, and drinking (goin out, socializing) something has to give. And I choose beer.
I have some very fun and important shows this month I want, need to focus on em! That means doing the work (ack!) and getting sleep. When i drink, even just a beer, i don't sleep or sleep well! so there. i said it, wrote it.

my goal? no drinking of the beer or any other alcohol till end of July. I am giving it up for two weeks and see how it goes. I am thinking that maybe i then need to look at caffeine consumption. But that is just too overwhelming to even fathom, today or at all, right now!
I have a wedding to attend the first weekend in August in the BIG Apple, a good friend taking the plunge! A lovely time to celebrate with a beer.

I am excited about this because it will be good for my liver, my weight (I am not fat but the beer does add a few pounds on that if not there would allow me to fit into a few of my jeans...jeans I love and I don't have any extra dough to buy new ones)and it will certianly help my wallet usuage.

ok thanks for reading kids. and if you are around the area check out the following shows where I will be performing -

DSI Comedy Theatre
Carrboro, NC
Thursday, July 17th, 8pm
Stand up spot
http://dsicomedytheater.com/

Spice Street
Chapel Hill, NC
The Monti
Tuesday, July 22nd, 7:30pm
Telling a story
http://themonti.org/

The Cave
Chapel Hill, NC
FEMME FEST Finale
Friday, July 25th, 7:30pm
Stand up spot
http://www.caverntavern.com/

the blogging may be low over the next few weeks...check my links on this blog for other good stuff to read, blogs to check out.

see ya!

not much today but...

Quote for Thursday, July 10th
"Hold the dates!" - Me.

I am doing two shows soon...

A stand up spot at DSI Comedy Theatre in Carrboro
Thursday, July 17th, 8pm
http://dsicomedytheater.com/

A story telling spot at The Monti in Chapel Hill
Tuesday, July 22nd, 7:30pm
- super excited about this one cool cats!
http://themonti.org/

Then I am doing another stand up set, they say, the headliner, gulp!
At The Cave in Chapel Hill (psst....look to the right for details)
Friday, July 25th, earlish...7pm, 7:03pm....

Just when you think you can't go on and wonder where i am...POOF! There I am performing somewhere. Just stand in your dwelling of living, close your eyes, whisper POOF! and there you will be and there I will be. "Hello!"
If not, go to plan B. Drive, walk, take the bus...see ya there.

a quick update to my day...

This is where i live people...ah man, just when i said, "ok this eve I am NOT going to have a few beers while writing..." I saw this article off of our intranet.
Now? Well I don't want to get depressed, voluntarily!

I like the mice vow to voluntarily drink for 28 days. You had me at, "establishes a casual link..." I mean who doesn't enjoy a casual link every once in a while...or every other 28 days. A thought...isn't 28 days the standard or average length of time for rehab? Ok, now I gots it. I am riding all the wheels now. All you people just off of rehab and want to drink? Maybe you are onto something.

But wait! Then just at the end, so as not to encourage drinking, they wrap it up in a nice little bow, "The study also found that treatment with an antidepressant drug during abstinence prevents the development of depression, a statement says."
Who this hell is this statement dude?

Oh well, all ok, all good again. And just think only a tree was wasted in this story! (tee hee)

Tuesday, July 8, 2008 - 2:56 PM EDT
UNC study links alcohol abstinence with depression
Triangle Business Journal

Cutting back on drinking could possibly lead to feelings of depression, according to findings from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.

UNC researchers at the Bowles Center for Alcohol Studies announced the results of their study Tuesday. The findings appear online in the journal Neuropsychopharmacology.

Senior study author Clyde Hodge, a psychiatry professor at UNC, says the research "establishes a causal link between abstinence from alcohol drinking and depression." In the study, mice that voluntarily drank alcohol for 28 days exhibited depression-like behavior 14 days after they stopped drinking.

"This research provides the first evidence that long-term abstinence from moderate alcohol drinking - rather than drinking per se - leads to a negative mood state, depression," Hodge wrote in a statement.

UNC researchers postulate that the abstinence from alcohol after drinking somehow impairs the brain's ability to create new nerve cells. Recent studies show that the development of the nerve cells could regulate people's mood; thus, UNC says, impaired creation could lead to feelings of depression.

The study also found that treatment with an antidepressant drug during abstinence prevents the development of depression, a statement says. The authors of the study say their work could help lead to better treatment options for people who quit drinking.

UNC's research was supported by the National Institutes of Health.

some decisions to be made

Quote for Wednesday, July 9th
“I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then live with that decision.” - Eleanor Roosevelt

I am in the middle of a few things right now.
Decisions to be made – from big ones to very small little ones!
I have to make a decision about a place to live in the fall.
I have found two places. Both have great attributes with small disadvantages.
Truly, not complaining here. I have options and that is wonderful. Yet with options come headaches. Careful what you wish for.
I often think of Joe Pesci in My Cousin Vinny…he and the lovely Marisa Tomei enter a diner in the small town where he has just arrived to defend his cousin in court. Oil has come to water town – the basic premise of the movie. With a very big dash of funny added!
Anyway…they enter. Sit down. It is a dive. A small town dive diner – ah yum!
Joe asks for the menu.
The greased up rather large older cook hands him a small menu, grunts and turns his back to the couple.
The camera moves down across the menu, giving the audience a view of what it has to offer.

MENU
Breakfast
Lunch
Dinner

Camera up, Joe’s close up, he says,
“Well I guess I will have the breakfast” Smirk and all.
It might be nice for it to be that simple.

My great “Day job” has real potential to be a career – gulp! Good yes.
A decision to be made? Yes!

Do I work at the bar this eve? – in at 9pm, out at 3am – up at 6am Thursday for full time job.
Tired? Yes. Make money so I can eat out with friends Thursday night? Yes.
If not work, allow more time to work on story for show? Yes. If work, have to work on story after day job, before bar job, cutting out nap? Yes.


Some weighing has to take place. I suppose it is better that life is heavy than not weigh anything at all. Yes. Sigh.

Quote for Tuesday, July 8th
“The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.” - Mark Twain

Jesse Helms died on the 4th of July

Quote for Monday, July 7th
“Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things” - George Carlin

Jesse Helms once said in response to North Carolina wanting to build a new Zoo, repair the existing one, in the town of Asheboro, "Well, you don't need to do that. Just put a fence around Chapel Hill and call it the NC Zoo."

Rest in peace Mr. Helms, honestly, I wish you peace and rest.
No hard feelings. I actually like the zoo, always have, always will.

And afterall, Bono liked you...have not always appreciated his music, or been a big ole groupie of U2 overall, yet I do so admire him as a person for his beliefs, convictions and the ability to follow them to the end, for himself and for others.
If you, Jesse, had this cat in your corner well you must have been doing something right. Beliefs, convictions and the strength to follow them to the end has to be admired whether you agree with em or not.

I would say that completes "the three" (Russert, Carlin and Helms) but really don't like groups of three people die every day, all day long, here, everywhere? We just don't know their names and they are not famous.

4th of July eve

Quote for Thursday, July 3rd
"Books are a narcotic" - Franz Kafka

a day off, a day to read, to relax, do laundry, have a beer, watch USA network, ponder on some story ideas, drink some coffee, rejoice in not taking a shower, savor freedom to do nothing.

Happy day before 4th of July.

It's my friday, ya'll!

Quote for Wednesday, July 2nd, 2008
"The simplest answer is to act."

new site to check out

very funny, very talented guy

http://www.peteholmes.com/

did a few shows way back with him...go see, read, learn, laugh. be.

again, really? it is Tuesday already? darg!

Quote for Tuesday, July 1st
“Wha?” – Me, waking up this morning remembering my early morning dream.

I woke up this morning around 4am. Padded off to the bathroom. Sleep peed. Scuffled back to bed. Smiled due to the thought I had two more hours to sleep…well till the snooze ritual was to commence at least. Fell right back to sleep and dreamt the following…

I was on a bus trip to somewhere (been there several times, I like it). Andrew Shue was sitting next to me for the trip. Andrew Shue of Melrose television show fame or you might know him of LA Galaxy Major League soccer team fame. We hit it off, chatting and giggling the entire trip (yes, giggling, not laughing – a difference as you well know). We get there. It is the bus station, old and no longer in existence at this location bus station, in Chapel Hill – where I currently reside…and drink. I put on my coat, Andrew helps me, then pulls out my cross necklace (ah?) that is stuck in my coat. He smiles. I smile. My tummy flips. Me likey. That part of dream then over. Flash forward to me in the streets of NYC, a specific street I recognize but don’t have a name for. There is a movie being made. I am in the middle of it. I am walking through the set. People every where. Noise, loud, like on a set when not filming. Andrew is there, I can sense he is, but I cannot see him. I am walking yet very slowly and I cannot seem to move any faster. I am struggling to take a step, to move down the street. People are whizzing by me. Every one else is in regular motion, speed and I am in definite slow mo. I am unable to get to the end of the street. I then pass, finally, a table of scripts…of the film being made. Then I hear “Feel the vibration” being sung by Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch. Ah, snooze begins. Hit it, open eyes, look around for Andrew, see he is not there, and then…”Wha?”

What does it mean? Well here is what is happening in my life right now…see if this sheds any light…

Transitioning into a new, more responsibility, a tad bit more money job at UNC, looking for an apartment for August, September (just found one that is amazing – no really – but a tad bit more than I want to pay…gulp!), struggling on this book thing, working at a pub a few nights a week so up late causing sleep lose, debt debt debt, boys boys boys….not exercising, eating OK, but not great…

So what does that dream mean? More than likely? Not a damn thing…yet I cannot help but think something. I checked, Andrew is still married and living in LA so a literal translation of that part more than likely not there. I am not in NYC, in a film there currently and I seem to be walking in regular motion today, so far. So no literal on that part. Mmmmm…..maybe, ah, well, no ok ah perhaps….symbolism. Ah I want to be head over heels in love, I am not sure where to live so I am dragging my feet (I did turn down a good place, in my price range with what seemed to be a cool roomie just yesterday), I am not writing as much as I should be, I had a great successful set the other night at a club (has not happened in a long time – and no notes!), I am meeting with a producer of a story telling show, a successful one here locally, this week and I got no ideas - now - and I still truly want to be a live performer yet have not found my niche. Or…I am lacking sleep and it all means nothing at all. Or it is just Tuesday. Yep, that is it more than likely, just a Tuesday. darg!
But...if a Mr. Shue happens to read this and is interested...I am more than willing to re-evaluate my interperation of this dream.