Sunday, December 30, 2007

tick tock tick tock



one more, well one and a half more days till no more 2007. What are you doing in these last hours of the year? What will you do in the new year, the big '08? a good friend last night said to me, "it is never too late" - original? nope. heard it before. yet for some reason last night it stroke a chord, hit a note, filled a void, ah you get the jist yes? Indeed it is never too late. So even in these last hours of '07 squeeze all you can out of 'em! Tick tock tick tock...

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

fantastic!


rain, wind, 40 degrees, brrr....nice to know, comforting, brilliant even knowing that someone amazing out there is thinking of me and smilin. thanks kd.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

family

a family is a group of people in which you are given.
not by choice nor selection, more so some say by someone up there a livin.
i am not sure on all of that whether it be true or not,
i do only know one is in it with em, all stirring hot in a pot.
often there are days of love, laughter, and support,
and then there are days that follow as if 100 horses upon your chest have trot.
a test you do take with all at one time or another,
you pass, you fail, you float and you smother.
a holiday that causes a rise in emotion and scars
food of soul and taste shines light on healing as does a sky of stars.
a cheer, a smile, a nod of head and again i recall,
that all are my heart, my life blood and all would catch me if i fall.
the rain and wind outside can never freeze my warm heart,
for just down the hall, below downstairs and across the hall
the humans that know me and even when we part
carry me on the sleeve, within their soul, surrounding their heart.

Monday, December 24, 2007

christmas eve is upon us yet again...


what am i thankful for this christmas eve and truly all year round yet often forget or don't stop to reflect on it, even jot it down?
well...
McDonalds french fries, Chesterfield Ale, sushi, willingness to try new things including romantic relationships (even if not romantic, technically), the girls; tash, heather, deb and beth, my accident prone brother, dolan, dr. daddy, ramona, rosemary, and thyme, (hee), mix cds (of course it use to be tapes), chewy sprees, mole sauce, texas pete, flavored creamer, stilton cheese, peach colored nail polish, watching instantly feature within Netflix service, the bell that tolls on the bank, humorous people, sierra nevada ale, at this time of year sierra nevada celebration ale, skipjack nuts made by blue crab bay (cause i worked there for the season and they were free!), unexpected good drunk sex, live music - good live music, seeing a good friend after a long separation, dancing with my eyes closed, finding 5 bucks in a pants pocket long forgotten, chilled iceberg chilled martinis straight up with olives, scrapple (if you have to ask then you don't understand), a book that makes me laugh and cry all in one sitting, freshly laundered sweatpants, a surprising moving film, sleeping in and waking up by no alarm, my mom, my pop, thanksgiving, snow when i am snuggled in bed reading, drinking white wine, oh oh red wine, laughing so hard my stomach hurts, my life, and most of all...the knowledge it is never too late, always options out there and it is up to me to get into something so therefore i can get out of it! Happy Holidays Ya'll. Be safe, have fun, rejoice and be merry...very merry indeed.

Monday, December 17, 2007

you tell me...



sunday. the day after...did i have a good birthday celebration or not? i am thinking (ahem cause some of it is fuzzy now) that i did.





oh and check out me and my cute friend miss lara - she made sure i was ok at kellys....ah good friends!

a holiday poem of love


Ode to Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale
#4 in Sierra Nevada poem series
Oh could it be that time of year already?
Not to sound rude, not to be petty
But alas I now need to focus on my true love,
The one the only, the one I place of others above.
This is correct, to be precise, the ale of choice
Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale, my one that possesses no vice!
For the long, cold nights of winter
I choose no other for which I would surely take a splinter.
You are so wonderfully robust and rich
With your flair of intense aroma without asking twice I shall be your bitch.
Your soul is dry-hopped for a lively flavor
I cannot, shall not falter, stammer or waver
As I now proclaim you to be the best beer ever made!
Perfect for a festive gathering or a night at home getting laid.
Oh how I cherish your Chinook bittering hops,
Alcohol content of 6.8% by volume make me lick my chops.
With your fermenting Ale yeast I fear I may just faint.
Please be sure to catch me you devil you, for with your labels I could paint...
my bathroom walls
my admiration and respect for you like a landscape does sprawl.
A true malt of english caramel
I'm honest when I spout, shout even spell
My L-O-V-E for you this holiday season,
For you my sweet I would lie, beg steal and even partake in treason.
As your finishing hops cascade down my eager throat,
my soul explodes with desire, overflows as water in a high rising moat.
I do so need you forever
please oh please push my button...s, pull my lever!
Be mine oh darling elixir,
say you'll make my holiday happy oh please oh kind sir.
Santa is not for me, I only need you
Only you Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale are my mate, only you, the foot that fits this shoe.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

a good morning


i woke this morning around 6am to wind and darkness. i stayed in bed, awake, seeing in the dark for a while...listening to the trees talk to me and a bell toll in the distance as it blew over the bank back and forth calling some far off boat, some distant soul maybe. the alarm rang out and i touched the snooze lightly, as if from my mind. not yet i spoke out loud. just let me stay here in this time, this reflection for a moment, many more. a head full of thoughts. of the tax overdue notice received yesterday, of an impeding bornday, of life choices filled with regret, feelings of panic for the future...and yet deep down in my heart a spark of something else, a piece of knowledge so different. something linked, even submerged in harmony. in the country, outside of a small town it is so quiet, so calm that one can often hear a loudness. and then as one wonders at the noise of the quiet, it all goes completely silent. for the first time one can truly hear it, life, themselves...it. i lay there for a while longer and listened to this quietness, to me, to it. a smile slipped across my face even as i threw negative thoughts at it to stop. still it came and now even it still sits. it will not be denied. even when i SHOULD be blue, be down, be afraid i am not. i am more powerful today than ever. the trees remind me so and the bell shouts out to me all is possible. a new beginning came to me this morning in the dark. it traveled across the mountains, through the trees, and over the creek to get to me. i owe it a chance after all of that travel. and so i offer that as i have nothing else to give.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

hard to believe...

i woke up this morning and it hit me! my birthday is this sunday. where the hell did the time go? could it be true? wow. i was in my birthday week and did not even realize it. hard to believe...what do i want i wonder...it not to be my birthday on sunday perhaps. is that too cynical, too dark? shall ponder on it and get back to ya.

Saturday, December 08, 2007

"Maury, What happened?"

First, The First Wednesday show last week was fantastic!
If you were there then you know...if you were not then shame shame on you! fun crowd, amazing talent (including a pretty decent little set by yours truly...tried some new stuff and it got a nice response...aka laughter!), and good holiday cheer was had by all or so it looked - and really that is truly the only way one knows yes? YES! why am i smilin? because this was the first full day and night i was totally off the juice! the benedryl juice that is. and apparently, finally, there is an end to the production of snot by one body! beer never tasted so yummy...ok that is a lie. it tastes yummy every and any time. it just felt nice to be walking and feel my whole body as one and not have an out of body experience - i think that is what it is called when one is walking and it feels as if one is directly behind oneself, and awake. i do have to say my ass is quite lovely.
as another update - i went out last eve, after a sweet and laid back volunteer gig at the Cape Charles Bed & Breakfast (be sure to check this hot spot out - a beautiful house and fantastic people run it! - http://www.capecharleshouse.com/) for the Annual Cape Charles Progressive Dinner. Sweet why? We sipped on sweet red wine from a box in short plastic cups (free makes all good even box wine) and laid back why? cause i served wine and tri colored funky cheeses with my gal pals sophie and amy. then done at 10pm, off to The Pub for A, read it kids, A martini on the rocks...dirty, very. so dirty i think it was clean. ha, i slay me with my wit. as a side note? martinis are made of gin AND come in high ball glasses, on the rocks (ice) and not always in that funny looking tall glass, mr downtown!
what a refreshing night. i sober and all around me drunkeness swirled. got hit on by a very odd dude. kept touching my back, leaning on me, entering my face space - ick ick and triple ick! after i turned him down for a date...the pick up line by the way? "so i've been single for some time now and well you are close to my age do you want to try a date sometime?" i know! sexy yes? he still bothered me. i had to leave. well i was planning on leaving around the time it all went down anyway...his antics just propelled me out the door faster. hope all that night got home safely. when i asked one patron who was quite on the loaded side, to say the least, "you are not going to drive are you?" to which he replied, "later" - truly hope that one got home safely. but alas, cannot worry too much on this one. not my job to worry on him anymore.
woke up this morning with no hangover! what a concept. slept in till 9:30am and felt fucking fantastic. my point to all this rambling? ah, well, ok, uh, um, sure, let's see, sure, oh, mmmm, well, actually there is no point. just a ramble. till the next one...

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

a question for today


if you knew that tomorrow was your last day on earth what would you do today? (everyone else always says "if today were your last day" so i wanted to change it up!). Just saying...
what would i do? i would wear this pink tutu over pjs all day long, drink coffee, read a book, drink cold brews, tell jokes to anyone that would listen, call George Clooney and finally tell him how i feel, call my close friends and talk about people, play a marathon game of "would you rather...or would you..." with my brother, sit on the dock for an hour and not talk and be with the water, track down my latest ex and ravage him, play online solitaire, get a massage, eat fried chicken all day, write on my blog, take a long bath and drink a bottle of red wine, listen to my french music cd, take a nap on the couch with angus dog, laugh with my parents, run a mile and a half, do some laundry, worry about having no money, eat a banana, go to a bar during the day before it gets dark, do some emails, drive on a back road and oh and ah over the changing leaves, and say thanks to the universe for my life. so basically just another day in my life would pass by...
i would NOT...spend all my money in the bank (which would take about an hour at the Dollar Store) cause i mean really what then would i do the next day?
Have a day ya'll! It is December, end of year almost here...and what will you do today? Do it!

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

you just can't...


you just can't stop the dance, babies!

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Zicam? how about ZiWOW!


not that i am hoping they will sponser my next show or anything or perhaps a mysterious check appears in my mail but how about Zicam? Anyone, anyone? My mom has been telling me for over a year, "you got to take the zicam" [picture Elaine from Seinfeld, "you got to see the baby!"] and for that timeframe i have for no reason but that she is my mama, said, "no no whatever" and not used it. then proceeded to get sick from my allergies, be in bed for days, cough up god knows what (and neither do i. i mean if he doesn't know how could i possibly?), and basically feel and look like ultra crap. Last night i started to feel el yucko. Sore throat, stuffed up nose, achy body (assumed at first it was from being out of shape and pretending to be so this last weekend in flag football), and watering eyes. In enters the mama..."you got to take the zicam, i am telling you it works and it is a miracle" Ok ok i will try it. You have to place it up your nose, squirt it, and then inhale. A reason unknown to me and i am sure god as well why this was a difficult feat for me. After multiple tries and then finally application by my MOTHER (many giggles throughout the process) some of the Zicam actually got into my nose passage...passage (S)? And i got to tell you...started to feel better well actually just did not feel worse, get worse. i proceeded to pump that magic juice up my nose passages (made a decision to make em plural...i don't need no stinkin committee) every 4 hours throughout the rest of the evening and the night. This morning? I don't feel tip top, 100% but i got to proclaim, "i feel decent and not sick!" i am killing the allergy cold before it comes fully on and it feels fantastic. i am a soldier in a never ending war and i vow to win this time! So i say to you kids out there as this wishy washy up and down cold hot weather continues on and seems to not be letting go..."You got to take the Zicam at the first feelings of being sick or allergy onset!" [now picture Elaine saying, "Maybe the dingo ate your baby! i said the dingo ate your baby!"] Ok now i got to go squirt it up. Ut oh what if i get addicted? Ah, another entry, later, much later.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Busy Busy!

7 days since my last post? what the hell is wrong with me, what have i been doing? nothing substantial but all good. ate lots of turkey, cranberry sauce from a can (where you open the can and it just slides out, has the can ridges on it?), ham ham, many cocktails and cold beer, danced a lot this last week to good live music, a fantastic DJ, played flag football in perfect football weather, laughed a crap load, did a few things i cannot discuss here - although in the past i would but not now...maybe in the future...watched movies (just discovered that you can download movies from netflix, ah shit i may never leave the house now), and just been enjoying november here on the shore. Heading to Chapel Hill on Wednesday for the week and weekend...in search of the employment thang, catching up with some old friends, and catering a big ole party for 600 doctors at Duke! I wonder if any are GYNs? "does your mama know what you do for a living?" Ah the fall is indeed upon us and aint it grand? Till next time...

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

i'm tired, achy, foot still swollen, sort of out of it...






















but here are some pics from the show...and watched the dvd this eve. overall good. lots of work to do that i have not been doing but at same time loved how it turned out - onward and upward. gobble gobble kids. so much to be thankful for this year. smooches.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

you little jerk...well ok maybe not so much...


i stepped on you and cursed you as i scratched, throat tightened, and as i lay in my bed unable to sleep - only counting the hours till my show. i then cheered you as laughter from the audience came rippling over me as i shared our story. out of great pain does come great art, good solid comedy. thank you, you little fucker for the laughs.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

the show this saturday...

will have me in it...and unlike this picture above, with some clothes on and sans glasses yet will still be a good one! (pssst...i did have a bath suit on by the by...not sure what my friend Carol is doing in the back ground i was too focused on my modeling technique at the time...)

Please come join me at ESO for The Spoken Word, Saturday @ 7pm.
Only 10 bucks gets you laughs, silliness, poetry, and much more that i cannot share with you now.
See ya there kids.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

the country life for me

oh little mice i hear your little feeties on the old wood floors
a scurrying here and there in search of what i can only imagine.
there are no snacks to be had, no cheese to be munched upon
and yet you keep going and making the rustle of plastic
keeping me awake late into the eve, early into the morning.
i am not afraid of you nor send you hate at all
i only fear stepping upon you, blocking your way from frig to
kitchen sink cabinet as the last drop of wine drips into my glass.
i share my warm home gladly with you as my family did for me
so here we are both in search of it all, looking for what i am sure we
know not of and yet we keep scurrying back and forth, here and there.
good night little ones and good luck.

what do you want people? it is 2:30am, no cable and seriously these mice! for such little bodies they pack some noise as they run all about!

Monday, November 12, 2007

when it....

it pours. hectic week this week...picked up some part time work plus some consulting work and the show is this weekend...ack! all good though. if you truly want something done give it to a lazy person IF IF! you know they have 12 other things to get done along with your thing...it is the only way we lazys get anything done. So if anyone has something they need done please let me know. i only have 11 things to get done this week and i need one more to make it all work out smoothly. catch ya round the next corner...

Sunday, November 11, 2007

V day Sunday


i am not one to talk in depth about politics, religion, war, patriotism...ah shit wait what the hell do i talk about? it is times like this with questions like that one i just posed where i am glad that this blog gig is not two way interactive!

i did though want to point out that today is Veterans Day - celebrated nationally or in regard to holiday day off, tomorrow, Monday. Times when it is good to work for the governement. man i am on a roll.

anyway...back to it, Michelle...i also don't usually get all gooey inside and spurt out salty solution from my eyeballs (i just wanted to say something besides the words cry or tears) when it comes to this sort of thing (which is odd since i tend to, at least these days, cry a lot at anything - it is like i am in training for some cry fest marathon!) but i did want to recognize that it is Veterans Day and that i am extremely thankful for and to all veterans out there! It is cheesebally, geeky and totally cliche but Freedom ain't Free kids. Thank goodness for that cause this chica got no dough right now for any luxury items.

Hope it was a good sunday for all everywhere.
peace and all that crap. goodnight.


Saturday, November 10, 2007

ok well i sort of lied...

it was more of preparing you for the worse rather than say lying though to be fair.
i do have a little bit of some internet access...so able to post some stuff...the important stuff anyway. raining here today in cape charles. drizzling, cold sort of rain that makes you happy that one has a lot of writing and preparing to do for one said show coming up - and when i say "happy" of course i mean not! and don't worry when i say, "writing" it does not mean i have not written the show yet...cough, choke, cough, spit, ahem...i meant to say, "editing". no matter what it will be a good one for sure. afterall it is comedy, jokes, laughter...what could be funnier than a person on stage staring blankly out at 60 people, drooling, turning red and sweating profusely for 30 or so minutes? for 10 bucks? a bargain at twice the price. anyway...stay dry or get wet whichever one suits your wants and desires on this saturday.

Friday, November 09, 2007

don't cry but...

i am house sitting this weekend and i may not have internet access so alas i may not be able to post on the blog...it will be ok i promise. if you do cry be sure to drink lots of H20...i will be back....at some point. you know that whole thing of abscense makes the heart grow fonder. your heart just may grow quite fond of me in the next week or so.


Thursday, November 08, 2007

sort of out of it today kids....


i'll be back with something soon...till then stay cool or is it stay in school? peace out.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

today is your day!

Hey Mr. Downtown -
hope your bornday is a good one.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

i miss


i miss a summer breeze filled with honeysuckle and vanilla.
warm filled freedom slipping by my blonde hair covered arms and
friendships based on moments.
sunshine dancing on water and possibility of angels floating by me, offering ideas and temptations.
i long for clarity skimmed from pockets of smoked filled hollow bushes outside of my home.
simple seconds of throwing a basketball in a hoop, tossing rocks
down a old railroad plank and back porch steps holding butts of wisdom and chances of escape from all that possess us if only for that time.
i long again and again for that time when it made sense, gave reason and truth.
a field and then a clearing, a gust of wind brushing over and through my thin dirty blonde hair and
a knowledge of me.

Next First Wednesday Show in November

The First Wednesday show is tomorrow, Wednesday, November 7th.
Show starts at 6pm and goes till the talent runs out...which can be a long time round these parts.
Come on down to The Chesapeake Bistro on Mason Ave. in Cape Charles for amazing talent, fun, laughs, good food and drinks! I will be there and hope to see you there!
Check out their new website for more details and pictures of past shows.



A moment of silence and then thankfulness, please


happy bornday to a brilliant dude. many thanks from this little gal for all you did...now he was not lazy.


It's the birthday of Harold Ross, born in Aspen, Colorado (1892), who founded The New Yorker magazine. He was gap-toothed, his hair was always a mess, and he spoke with a Western twang. He had never finished high school, and people sometimes joked that he'd only read one book in his life. But he had actually started out as a migratory newspaperman, traveling the country and filing hundreds of stories from California and Brooklyn and New Orleans and Panama. He later said of that period in his life, "If I stayed anywhere more than two weeks, I thought I was in a rut."
He settled in New York after serving in World War I, at a time when the city was suddenly filling up with smart, interesting people in their late twenties, and it occurred to him that there was no national magazine being written for this new generation. All the popular magazines at the time were either too intellectual or too middlebrow. Ross wanted to create a magazine that was funny and entertaining and unpretentious, and the result was The New Yorker, which came out February 21, 1925.
Ross knew right away that the magazine should have a distinctive look, and so he made sure that it was filled with cartoons. But at a time when most cartoons were caricatures of public figures or just one-line gags with a picture attached, Ross insisted that his artists draw real things and real situations — people at bars or in offices or at parties or at home with their families. In the end, he helped invent the kind of cartoon that The New Yorker still publishes today.
Ross's genius was in spotting talent in writers and hanging on to those writers. He personally hired E.B. White, James Thurber, Janet Flanner, A.J. Liebling, and Joseph Mitchell. Some of his employees were driven crazy by his endless memos and writing suggestions, or the way that he would walk into the writers' office and shout that he wanted to hear fingers pounding typewriters. But most people said they never really knew him. James Thurber wrote, "You caught only glimpses of Ross, even if you spent a long evening with him. He was always in mid-flight, or on the edge of his chair, alighting or about to take off."


oh no she didn't oh yes she did! finally someone said it.


my therapist told me last week that i am focused, "totally", she even said. it is simply that i am lazy. i just don't want to do the work. finally. after a lifetime filled with 3 therapists, multiple friends, family hearing me say, "i just feel that i am not focused. that is my issue." nope. i am simply lazy. thank you. so clear now. well off to take a nap. look people just cause i now acknowledge the problem does not mean that the behaviour changes over night. it may be years before that happens. remember the diagnosis? good.

Monday, November 05, 2007

sunday love affair continues...perhaps my longest relationship ever!


what a lovely sunday i did have this past weekend. driving around the country side thinking thoughts and soakin in the reds and yellows of the season. an unexpected, pleasurable, interesting phone call riding along with me while sipping diner coffee. finished a good book, went for a run, sipped some yummy chilled white wine with mom and good friend, caught an excellent new episode of Cold Case, a quick peruse of an old New Yorker magazine and an early bed time of 10pm. uninterrupted sleep followed. ah still a big fan of the sunday.

on the way to health insurance today

saw this sign on the side of the road, in front of a trailer park, seen it many times but for some reason today it hit me, got into me...

"Jesus; wise men still seek him."

Yep. Why not women? I tell you why. cause we already found him and he couldn't commit. ah crap guess i am going to hell...my two thoughts on that? a) at my age and all i've done? probably already got a seat there and b) lately been thinking on the whole god, devil, heaven, hell story...on the fence about it all so hey if you don't believe in something can you go there?

Happy Monday ya'll! This entry seems dark....not sure why cause i am feeling awfully light and happy today...it just came out.

Saturday, November 03, 2007

a few thoughts on a lazy, fall, chilly saturday on the shore

to be strong when the wind blows,
to be flexible when others refuse to bend,
to stand tall when hands are pulling at you,
to not give up even if the water rises past your mouth,
to wake at dawn and know you are truly and forever alone,
at last to trust, to test, push, pull you inside and out,
then to come out on the other side, look in the rearview mirror
and like, love, respect and cherish what is now visible, that is
the thrill of the hunt, the passion of why each day we step up, step out
and live.

today was dark and light all in one. the wind grabbed trees and thrashed them about, clouds refused to let a sun ray in, water splashed against the shore as if angry from a past wrong, birds slept and made no sound today. and i was in it all and i the better for it all...if only for today.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

I've been bad...and not in a good way neither











I've been remiss in getting this post up. Bad girl. Spank me. A little bit? Please take a gander at my last set at First Wednesday, in October, with my friend Miss Sandy! We had a blast. I actually asked her to come up and heckle me - planned and all. I think it went well and we did get some good laughs from real live audience members. Nice after getting the silent treatment from my stuff animals. Easy to manipulate those fellas into watching you rehearse however a tad bit damaging to the self esteem since they rarely, often never, laugh or even give any acknowledgement of your material - good or stinky. Anyway, it was fun and we are sure to do it again. Next First Wednesday is November 7th, a week from today! Come on down and join us. Who knows maybe I will play the drums next.

My Halloween Poem circa '07


Oh hallows eve you are now today upon us.
Tonight goblins, gouls and witches all around to be sure.
Candy, sugary treats and candied apples we buy to lure,
seeking a chance to regress to the past where things were more secure.

Hiding behind a mask once a year allows freedom.
Opportunity to clean the slate and start anew.
Some believe only a new year holds this to be true,
yet real followers know the deal, see clearly all the way through.

To be another soul, in a different time and space.
Allow oneself to let it all go and release pain and worry.
Unlock that gate to watch, feel our fears out of us scurry,
if just for one dark, deep and magical night we are lost as if upon us a snow flurry.

Halloween has come once again to rekindle the kid in us all.
Gather the candy and share the silly abandon with any you meet.
Take a chance, let it all go and your worry bank deplete,
slip into who you want to be, desire to be - the real trick or treat.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Who needs it?

when you are this adorable you just don't need that other N.
love you Mr. Leary! Please Rescue Me soon. Wha? I cannot write brilliance everyday people.

Monday, October 29, 2007

check her out!

i am overdue in telling you all about this site! my good amazing talented friend beth has a new site. you have to check it out. not only is she talented in the camera arena but she is a kickass (that is one word, yes?) Z language talker. trust me when with her you will want to "double it up". But first please oh please go to her site...http://www.elizabethcampbellphotography.com/

good night ya'll!


It is good to be king


On the way into work today - I was yes technically laid off but as of this week I am going to help out part part time - which is great. Health insurance is fun to have. So very grateful for that.
On the way in I saw a dead deer on the side of the road that I have to assume was hit by a car. Standing on top of it was this little black bird. Not a turkey buzzard. This little guy (and not sure why when we see animals we automatically call them "guys" but we do) was standing there with his chest puffing out, looking straight out at the highway with an air of such accomplishment surrounding him. There were a few other birds like him milling around the body looking up at this one bird. He seemed to be saying, projecting, "Look at me. I am king of this deer and all I survey" Right on little man, little black bird. For that time, for however long it ended up being before another larger bird knocked him off, he was king of his environment. Very inspiring for me. Insightful even. Been a long time since I've had a deer to stand on and proclaim my kingdom. Seems as if I've been standing on all the wrong possessions lately. I am hoping that explains why lately I have not felt as a king does, as I imagine one to feel; powerful, logical, in control and enlightened. I need to define my deer and then stand on it and announce my kingship. All on a Monday? Well maybe I will start today and see how the rest of the week goes.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

My love affair with Sundays continues

What a super duper fabo day today turned out to be.
Perfect fall day. Crisp chill in the air, crystal blue sky with milky white fluffy drifing clouds (shit, probably way too many descriptives of clouds) and the air smelled like fall. A smell I honestly cannot define or describe but I have a feeling you know the smell. If not, fake it.

Here is what is shakin'...
Lisa's show last night at ESO was fantastic. I am truly in awe of her talent. It made me want to sing...sing and sound good that is. The crowd was outstanding and enjoyed her talent as much as I did. People even got up and danced. Ok well my mom was the only person that got up and danced. Red wine brings out the dancer in even the most shy of the crew. Be sure to check out Lisa at her website (psst, over there on this blog just to the right, a little bit lower, just click oh and buy a cd!)

Sunday a.m.:
I went to church. I know what you are thinking and no I did not burn it down, it is still standing, no cinge, burn marks anywhere on the building. I like this church. It is small, all white wood inside, old and sparse. There is not a lot "stuff" busying up the joint. I can think in this church. I like that when a church allows you to think. A safe place to go, be quiet, think and hopefully if you try, give an effort to it, be grateful. The lack of noise gives me an opportunity to just be, breathe. No celebrity gossip, political opinions, no war, no debt, nothing but me and my thoughts, my thanks. Not even god interrupted my solititude session with myself, nature, the world, life.

Day 5 and 6 of "Thanksgiving Toiletries Challenge" - help here - now coming to a close. Still going strong. The big test? COSTCO & TARGET. I was tempted trust me. I mean rows and rows of large bottles of heavily reduced shampoos, conditioners, lotions, toothpaste, eye creams and I purchased NONE of it. I did however buy a box of 72 tampons (sorry dude readers) for 6 bucks as well as 10 pairs of running socks for 10 bucks. How could I not? Don't answer that just let me be. The idea from my friend Lara? She gave me or will soon give to me, this yummy face lotion that does not work for her. Brilliant. Contributions. That will extend my project shelf (hee) life for sure! These last two days were good. I did not buy any new product and product contributed to the cause.

My rekindled love of Pat B? Heard the song, "Love is a Battlefield" about 2 weeks ago and decided it would be great to use in my show in November somehow. Bought Pat Benetar 20 greatest hits (yes i know!) and indeed each song is the greatest. Been listenting to it for the last 24 hours and loving it. Pat will be serenading me to sleep this eve. Rock it.

Oh, I popped open a Magic Hat beer this eve and the bottle cap inside said, "everyone has the power to blossom and flower" - you better believe dat!

distance

distance gives you such perspective, valuable information
a window opens for reflection that provides a smile, a warm sensation
and no anger or regret to release from a bottle.
an image so clear came to me this afternoon as I
drove from an event in the woods to my home.
It popped into my head out of nowhere. Many days
now passed since any thought or notion of you on my brain.
sunset, water, beer, fish jumping and all seemed possible.
Newness and excitment enveloped us as we settled into the cab to escape the flies.
Talk of what might be, things to do and experiences to have together.
A chance for something amazing unexpected and overwhelming,
laughter cascading, bouncing off of the windshield splashing on our clothes.
a soul to connect with and be myself with all rolled up in a familiar package.
the image fades almost before it totally plays out in my brain - and all is gone.
only left is my heart a tad bit richer, sweeter and hopeful.
for that time and many more I am sure yet to come back to me I am thankful.
time, miles separating us and even a season changing upon us make us
seem wonderful.
I came here to piece me back together and fill in some holes.
a diversion I took when wine brought you my way.
Off the planned path and I the better for it I see now more and more.

wait for it...

I am off to a picnic so not sharing right now but I will later today and boy do I got some stuff to tell ya.
I went to church this morning (I know!), day 5 and 6 of the project, Lisa's show review, a few insights experienced over this last weekend, a rekindled love of Pat Benetar and so much more to come.
In the meantime kids go outside! It's Fall Ya'll...for reals.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Drip drop drip drop

"It's gonna rain on your head" - and your face, your shoulders, your chest, your legs, your ole frickin body! Ain't it grand. Still raining today, Saturday. Me moms and I is heading across the bay in a few so no time to write RIGHT now...the little country mice are heading into the big bad city - gulp! Got to go to civiliation for the necessities. That being of course; new cell phone battery, cds for my show in November, and Cosco for sure. To Costco for nothing specific just mostly to walk the tall isles stacked with large amouts of crap that no one truly needs but buys cause "so cheap for so much" little gremlin takes you over sort of deal...where was I? Ah yes going across the bay. That is the plan. I shall be back and write more...afterall it is now Day 5 of "Oh look I have all this stuff I should use it before Thanksgiving" project. Damn it! Still have to think of a good name! Any ideas I am welcome to them. You can send me your ideas via the comment section - you know if you are not too busy today, tomorrow, next week oh wait you probably have a job. They hiring? Just kidding, a little bit.
Stay tuned for today's entry - my good friend Lara gave me a great idea last night and I is gonna take her up on it and share it all with you. Till then, peace.

Friday, October 26, 2007

half assed

This morning I awoke to a thought.
A reflection on me and my life.
Half a thought, not whole or complete,
only part of it all incased in a cloud.
He is a whole, she too is full and them and the others as well.
Yet I, here half out of my bed, entirely not awake am only just a half.
A half sister, half daughter, half person, half happy.
Part of the morning light seeps into my room, now half clean,
soon to be fully dirty, a mess, a walk in closet entirely.
Half dressed I get up and stumble to the small somewhat half bathroom,
peering into the mirror I see me, only half of me,
and for the first time I see it and know.
I am there...
partially, totally separate, fully empty with half a chance.



Numero Four el uso of existing productos!

2:20pm. Took a shower. Operation "don't buy products till others all used up" going quite nicely as going into Day 4. I made a discovery today that not only will aid in this latest undertaking but will also save me money in the future. I have a lotion for my face, one for my body and one for my eyelids. I usually stick with Neutrogena products - lately I've been dipping into Nutrisse line - Not cause Miss Sarah Jessica Parker is the spokesperson so much but because they seem to be good products. And my bar for nice or good products? Smell pretty of course! I did for a flash consider not using Nutrisse products this week when I heard on the radio that she was voted into the top 5 UNsexiest women by Maxim magazine. Alas though I am still using them. Mostly cause in my new project to use only what I have on hand Nutrisse makes up a substantial % of the stock. Baby steps here people, baby steps. The activist thing is new to this lady - one day at a time. Hey that was a good television show...ok damn it enough back to it...Day 4; Ok for the body I use St. Ives Swiss lotions (if it makes you feel any better or if you are starting to have a thought in your head that this chick maybe into names I did have to Google - hee - the product names to check my spelling), for my body. The firming action. It does work. No corelation that I've been running and eating less as to the decrease in cellulite in my buttocks region this last year. I use Neutrogena eye cream on my eyes. Now trust me kids as one gets older the eyes, the lids and the area below are the key areas to protect and slaver it on! I have a ritual, an order of application for the lotion time. first the face, then the body and then the eyes. There is no logic to the order as shocking as that may sound to some. It is just how I have done it for years...and years...and...months. Maybe in my head I've concluded that there is critical drying time needed of the face before applying the eyes, the lids and the area below said eyes. So I do the face, move to the body and then loop back around to the eyes. Or maybe one of the first times of doing this ritual that is simply how it went down and since has not changed. We are nothing else if not creatures of habit. (that is good at times yet at others as those of now attending regular therapy sessions can atest to) - I am there looping back around to do the eye application when I just happen to glance at the back of the little tiny jar and for some reason start reading the ingredients. Radical I know. The words although not pronouncable seemed familiar. I grabbed the face lotion and starting reading it's behind. Ah - ha! All the same. Well well look at that and just when they thought they could get away with it. No, I gotcha. I at first was sad, disillusioned and then I rose above it. Hey this is good news. This means I can purchase (not till after Thanksgiving of course...thought you had caught me huh?) one facial cream and use it on my entire face and eyes. Brilliant. Not only am I helping out the world by using less I am learning and helping me. either that or it is becoming painfully obvious that I am now entering my 3rd day of unemployment. Oh look shiny objects...gotta go.


It is just that sorta week

I got laid off from a second job today. Nice. It is like I am the winner of the losers. And for some odd reason or maybe not so odd I feel fantastic. Ok well maybe not fantastic but I don't feel shitty. It was one of my part part time jobs and actually I was thinking of "quitting" it anyway. At least that is the story, morning glory, I am now telling. Again timing is everything. Not a fit right now and ok for both parties involved. I just spent more time explaining this situation than I did actually working there - enough!
It is still raining today. This is good for many reasons. We need it and I find it sort of uplifting for a change. I use to think that rain was depressing. Now I find it to be cleansing and cool. I wonder if Brittney Spears likes rain? I saw an interview of some has been star commenting on her. He said, "The people that love her need to come and get her" I agree. The people I love came and got me. (figuratively) Literally I came to them. Tomato tomato.
It is now just drizzling, tapering off. It smells fresh and clean outside sort of like that new candle I bought at the Dollar Store. Outside smells like a candle. That is different. Difference is good. A partner to change. A dynamic duo. Hey it is just that sorta week. How nice.


Thursday, October 25, 2007

Day Three

Ok so I am on Day 3 of "Operation Use it or Lose it!" Maybe I will get an actual good name for this project by the time it is over at Thanksgiving. I have to say today's entry will be pretty dull. More so than usual that is. In regard to using only the products I have on hand; I have not taken a shower today, yet. I may not take one. I took one late in the day yesterday. And now that I reflect on it and can remember I have not been outside rolling in mud, dropped any large amounts of food on me, and I have not run in the last 24 hours. I feel pretty solid when I say that I don't need to take one today. I am certian that I will not offend anyone, at least visually and olfactory wise, today bynot taking a shower. And now that I think of it by not taking a shower today that can only help my project. One less day to use products (shampoo, conditioner, soap, facial cleanser, razor wear and tear). A free day to add onto the end. Plus, one less person using a significant amount of water in this area. We are technically in a drout here - even though it started raining mid day yesterday and has kept raining on and off since...as I sit here writing the rain has increased. I love the rain. I feel good that not only am I not using water but that it is raining. A win win. Oh don't worry...Before I leave the farm I will brush my teeth, wash my face and put deodorant on....even some lipstick and yummy smelling body spray. Hey, I'm no barbarian (stop it!) just one gal doing my part, little as it may be, my part.


Wednesday, October 24, 2007

7:10pm, raining fa real...gotta do something!


gotta do something to celebrate! I cut my hair. again. hey it has been a long time and the last time someone with a license cut it. come on. If I had the orange dye I would have done that too. I am guessing that you probably think I am crazy, a fool, weird, blah blah. The good part? I don't care! What you think is your business and none of mine. I gots to tell you peeps there is nothing more liberating than cutting one own's hair and ah it looking actually cute - I know there are more than likely A million things more liberating than that but items that are within my grasp this eve. go outside get wet. trust me you won't melt. and if you do then all your problems are solved. now that is some liberation. I am now going to pretend that that is me over there...she looks so focused, so calm, so skinny!

I am already behind on my big idea!

Day 2 - "Operation using bathroom products already own, not buyinig new ones till all used up in my bathroom and small closet outside of bathroom" (have to get a new name, ah Day 3 to do).
Pretty smooth so far. I merried two conditioners together this morning in the shower. One less bottle taking up space in my small shower - nice. An action - that always feels productive. Had to scrape out the firming body lotion container and that was a little eye opening. Apparently the makers of these products DO NOT want you to get it all out, good to the last drop sort of thing do they not subscribe to. I started to breathe heavy at that point since on just day 2 of this program it appeared I was already running dangerously low on body lotion. Alas I then looked up and saw the two remaining half empty, ahem I mean half full, body lotion containers on top of my toilet. Whew. All is fine. No peace in the middle east but all calm in my bathroom.

Stay tuned kids...it seems as if the plot just may be thinning (intended).

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Here is what happened to me on my way home last night...so cool!

- this is how I feel as of this latest development in my blogging world...
For those regular readers of my blog (all 6 of you - yes readership is up this month due to some GM layoffs - and just to be on the up and up YES this data is self - reported) you may notice that some enteries have recently been removed. I am experiencing a small dose of censorship. For now I have pulled the posts, for now I stress, to protect "the innocent". I am not sure how I feel about it and am muttering over it. I pulled them two nights ago after a random phone call request, a voicemail since I rarely do pick up my cell. I did pull one in particular because ultimately I do not want to hurt anyone's feelings, take pot shots at undeserving bystanders and just basically it was a knee jerk reaction and seemed or appeared in my head the correct action to take at the time...initially, but...now looking back at it over the last 27 or so hours I think that action does not match the request. I have some options which is cool in itself. I can do one of a few things. I can edit the post and remove the damaging remark (and I use the word damaging loosely) and repost it, I can just not repost it and keep it in my draft folder where I am the only one to enjoy it's brilliance (and I use the word brilliance loosely - I am fair if nothing else), I could edit it and add even more damaging (you know the drill) information you know name names and all that juicy stuff (that seems least appealing and not really what I am all about - a realist am I if nothing else...oh wait now I have said I am two things if nothing else...ops!, and lastly I could post an apology for the post...that option is at the end of this list for a reason. Um, so many choices, so many social engagements and so little time. For now I am going to take a long overdue run with my iPod and continue to ponder my options...along with what I want to have for lunch today. The first day of unemployment, I find, at least, is always so fanciful and hopeful. Then I will come back have another cup of java and perhaps declare my decision. Oh wait I just noticed that in the title of this blog entry it says, "...so cool!", and I have yet to point out why or address that statement. Why is this so cool? Hello! People are reading my blog...and not just in the state of Virginia...I've gone out of state. Not only are they reading it (hence the statement above that readership HAS gone up) but it is eliciting a response, emotions, reactions! How awesome is that? I mean! (Lindsey Lohan says that all through the "please oh please I am telling you as an avid 'film' watcher do not rent this movie" Georgia Rule film! I mean I had a moment of weakness in the video store - I was just laid off!). That is awesome. I mean the blog reading thing...and well the unemployment is not so bad (all change is good!). I do suspect though that after this entry I may lose a few of the new readers. But just like me and what makes this ole country of ours so grand, is that others as well have options. Ok, till later...well later.





Monday, October 22, 2007

Big idea


I love Sundays. Big stuff happens on Sundays most often delivered via small packages. Like ideas and changes. This Sunday was no different. It was even better than most. The day itself, the weather was out of this world perfect. About 60 degrees, breezy - actually windy, the sun was shining, just the right amount of clouds were floating in the clear blue sky, and I with nothing to do but be. I spent most of the day laying on the dock with only the two sailboats keeping me company. Perfect. I talk, they listen and no comments or judgment back! I slept some of the time, stared out at the sparkling brilliant creek a lot of it, read my current book (which I have to tell you is not that great - I could do that I think and then remember ah but you didn't - I shall!), sipped on a G & T, and some other random stuff like thinking and pondering took place. Then I decided to clean out my bathroom. Nice. Well to be precise I decided to take a bath. It was about 5:30pm or so. My Sunday bath ritual. As the tub was filling up with hot water, steam escaping the stall, I jumped into my medicine cabinet, as well as the little closet just outside of my bathroom - and of course you know i don't mean "literally" jumped into them. I have indeed lost some weight this last year but alas not that much! I discovered a wide variety of products and potions. Random lotions, face creams, shampoos, conditioners, make-up, toothbrushes still in original packaging, and much more. It hit me, bam! I have so much here now that I could go like easily a month without buying any new stuff in this area. I need to use all of this stuff. So that was the big idea! I know it is so exciting. I decided that from now until Thanksgiving - November 22nd, one month from today - I will not purchase any new products or potions and I will use only what I have on site. I thought Thanksgiving was a nice concrete day to shoot for - you know being all thankful for all I have sort of thing. I am hoping that I will be able to go past that date but for now that is the goal. I took my bath, had more brilliant thoughts and ideas mostly for my show coming up...if only I could fit 60 people in my bathroom...that is where I seem to come with so many good ideas for the show and my career. I shall write on this experiment each day until the 22nd. I am hoping, predicting that only good and FUNNY information, revelations and insights will come out of this experience. Or at least I will not spend money for a month on stuff I do not really need and that my friends in itself, standing all alone by itself is a BIG idea.




Quote of the week....I had to

"I saw them. There were four of them and I thought there are four of us, that is if we find the lady. Oh, Hello Lady!" - Fezzik, aka Andre The Giant, Princess Bride

Yes it's hot NOW, but in the fall it will be cool and you will need me more than ever!

Yes it's hot NOW, but in the fall it will be cool and you will need me more than ever!
I am back at ESO to do some comedy; all me, all alone, well there will be beer and wine! October 18th, 7:30pm...stay tuned!

for now!

Till this chica gets settled in the blog name stays the same...deal with it! still posting but now OFF SHORE! I am working on my website so look for that soon...