i am off down south...

not for good just for a few days - in search of jobs and a cool pad to rest my head once down there. I will hang with my bro, see my god parents (not really sure how the spiritual leadership or guidance they are responsible for is going...), catch up with some old high school buddies (gulp! - we can compare wrinkles, smile lines and the progression of tats spreading) oh and drink many cold brews!

a perfect day to drive i must say. clear, crisp air, blue sky with a few wisps of white clouds to guide me down the coast. got tunes, sunglasses, and Funonions (refreshing when a word IS actually spelled as it sounds!) - is this a great country or what?

Don't despair...i will still be in blog contact! Just you wait...there i will be looking all cool and hip in starbucks aka 4bucks in downtown chapel hill! either that or i will be looking all scary with notes scattered all around me while the young college students gawk and laugh at me - blogging will prevail no matter what! Ok, to much java today, i am out!

Oh and FYI?

that song "Isnt it ironic?" by miss morissette? none of those lyrics are ironic... i think or is that ironic? wait...ah crap...but i just don't see how "it's like rain on your wedding day, its good advice that you just didn't take", or "it's like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife" is ironic? am i off here people?

oh and i got some new chucks last week. i am in love.

slip ons? who knew? I didn't till i opened the box...they were on sale! Well sure no laces, duh, for sure they should be on sale! Then red ones? For sure. sort of reddish orange actually.

You know how i knew they rocked? When a friend saw me in them this last weekend at a party he said, and i quote (duh, what else would I do but quote? jeez!), "Damn girl you are my bitch now!"Is that a fork? stick me cause I am done. What if you only had a spoon would that then be ironic? No it would just mean you would have to stick me with a spoon which actually if you think about it just might be more painful..."you know cause it would take longer, cousin" - now tell me what movie that is from? HA.
Ok happy storm and wind to ya.

stormy afternoon, head spinning, thoughts spilling, letting it go!

to be over it, to be done with it truly and finally it feels so sweet.
to drive a road and not glance for your car, for your wave, a reality of finality hits my heart.
liberation overflows out of my pores powered by knowledge I am free and possess no desire to return.
Backing out of the driveway one last time i imagine me shutting that door, no seeing it close quietly behind me, a lock click into place.
My hand slipping off of the knob, finger tips touching, forming into a snap propeling lips to evolve comfortably, warmly into a smile.
Even better yet to be filled with complete awareness of thankfulness nowhere near regret.
Grateful for the unexpected encounter, diversion provided from that left field.
And now I move on, out, up, and satisfied I am better off, stronger and more alive than ever.
to be over it, to be done reading that tale. A good short story now put aside to gather dust on the shelf of memory. A new slot now open making way for the big, grand novel. Not sure where yet know it can be, is, just over that hill over there, or perhaps around the bend, definitely down the road.

I sing therefore I am ah...

a singer! The other morning as i was getting dressed for the day one of my favorite songs came on the radio and before i knew what had hit me i was dancing around the room, hair brush in hand, aka microphone (I still use the old fashioned kind - no Brittney and Madonna ear piece for this performer), in underwear, bra, singing up a storm. I even played some air guitar. I am a versatile performer...the hair brush doubles easily as a guitar. I think it was a guitar, could have been the bass. I've only played this one song twice before so not sure. It was just 3 or so minutes out of my day yet it was a brilliant 3 minutes. I got lost completely and afterward felt so motivated and energized. Not to join a band I mean really? I can't actually play an instrument. And even though there are multiple air bands out there that do partake in concerts as well as contests I am just not that gal. I am many things that people laugh at but that is not one of them. It got me motivated for the day. Energized to go to the "office" in cape charles to submit resumes, write on my memoir, create material for upcoming shows and to just be excited about me, my life. It is silly I know. So simple, so I dont know, just small. I like that lately. Finding the little things, exploring them, letting myself go, and getting something big out of them. Like the idea that in a month I will pack up my car with the bare minimum (clothes, a few books, my journals, and some music) and hit the road and head down south. An adventure. Me, the road and possibilities! What I love most about those 3 minutes of dancing and air singing to the radio is that I thought I had lost that. The ability to let myself go and be truly and utterly in THE moment. I use to do it all the time when I lived in Greenwich Village in NY but somewhere along the road, the path on my current journey, I lost that ability. I am not a huge believer in "signs" yet I cannot help think, allow my mind to wander to a place where the conclusion is that that dance, that carefree experience that one morning tells me I am indeed ready to go, to move on for the next chapter. Either that or I have completely lost it, am a hop skip and ah a dance away from wearing a tinfoil hat and no one is bothering to tell me. Yet surely someone would tell me, yes? Even if I am though what I have now come to realize is that either way it just doesn't matter. I have the Shore, the people and the experiences here over the last year and a half to thank for this recaptured emotion and knowledge. One more thing I will pack away in my car when i head out down south; gratefulness.

Happy Prez Day to All!

in honor of the big HOLIDAY check out this fresh, new, quite simply fun blog i am HONORED to be a part of....http://navigatrix13.wordpress.com/
it has nothing really to do with presidents. just an opp to promote something fun, good, and creative. and scene, i be done...for now.

at first

at first i thought your words were truth
honestly slipping across your tongue
over your lips, entering my ears, seeping into my blood.
a heart then full of your possibility and
fearing the worst yet still stepping off the porch.
then the sound from your mouth turned to
uncertianity quickly molting to utterances with wings of a coward. lastly, nothing, no words, silence.
i heard the silence echo in my mind,
the quiet so loud it was as if music playing,
bouncing all around my skull, blanketing my brain.

good night moon

there is something about being up at 2:30am...sober. it is sobering. ouch. I only have 5 channels in which I have access to on my television and one of them is sort of half a station truly. interesting that no matter how many channels (or is it stations that is the appropriate word and is the S on the end cause it to be two words?) that one has access to always about 80% of them are crap. doesn't supply a solid argument for cable now does it? So you get more channels, and then more crap. Sort of like when we start to make more money we then start to spend more. We just enter a higher level of poverty. So why not just stick with the 5? And so here I am. I am up because I just finished a transcription job...it is so far from a sexy job that I will not take the time to eSplain. Just know it is a lot of typing, watching and listening people from all walks of life talk on stuff and I have to say then I get well paid for it...and my work clothes are PJs. So hey it aint too bad kids. I am wide awake so I poured myself a glass of vino to unwind and, no that is it no and. I drink it. Just one. I go to bed. I sleep. And so it goes on.

First Wednesday was LAST NIGHT.

the show last night was a success and so much fun. if you missed it shame on ya. i was Russian dancing and everything. amazing talent AS USUAL and much delicious Dogfish brew was consumed. Thanks to tall that performed and observed. I had a good time and think the show went great!

Don't miss the next on March 5th - Peg is back!

if i can make it here...

i can make it anywhere! wow what a few days back in town it has been. so fantastic to go back to a place you lived, grew, experienced so much and to feel so connected and yet not connected. i love being in the big city and at the same time do not miss living here. brilliant. this place is such a worldwind of energy and magic. it only took me about an hour to swing back into the motion of it all. says something, not sure what but says something. nothing profound to say on it all just checking in - back on the shore in a few...