Lost Friends

I've been thinking a lot lately about past friendships. Friends I am no longer in touch with or heard from in some time. Some I can't remember their names and some I am sure I shall never forget. A physical pang in my heart, in my blood I do feel when I think of one or two specfically. One from my time in Annapolis Maryland and one from way back, further back in the recess of my life, when I was but a little gal in North Carolina. It is not everyday by any means or even what you would call often that these two souls enter my mind. Yet when they do the memory of them, my time with them, what we did and what we shared does penetrate my brain, dribbles slowly downward to my open and then sad heart. The memory encases my beating 39 year old heart, then sending a telegram to my eyes, my tear ducts to tell them it is ok to release the floodgates. For I miss these two women. I truly do.

And it is ok that they are no longer in my life, logically I know this to be true. We were together for one reason and one reason only; just because. The time we had together was what we both needed at that time. That time, that need is now over and filled. Yet my heart is still empty in those two spots. Two spots that will never be filled I know as a fact not to be reckoned with. And I am not sure that I want the spots, as much pain as they can provide, to be filled. I need them there as a reminder. A reminder that starts out sad. Yet luckily, as the memory of them rounds the corner to the finish line, as it always does, then allowing me to move on to the next moment in my life, I am left with happiness, gratefulness and a soothing appreciation. Some peopel go their whole lives and never experience the friendship, the support and laughter as I had with those two women. You are out there and you know who you are. We are no longer speaking, nor listening. I only hope you know that I do so love you and wish you happiness and hope always. You are lost to me my friends. I just only hope you are not lost.